


what's gonna be left of the world if you're not in it?

by stariousfalls



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: (will add more tags as i may or may not add another chapter for this), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anxiety, Canon Divergence - Weirdmageddon, Character Death, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Post-Weirdmageddon, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:53:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26808433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stariousfalls/pseuds/stariousfalls
Summary: 'Only the good die young.'It was a saying that Dipper always thought was ridiculous, being as young as he was. He felt as if he were on top of the world and nothing could ever go wrong, especially with his twin by his side. As long as he had his sister — his other half.(Canon Divergence of Weirdmageddon where Mabel doesn't survive, and the Pines Family deal with the aftermath after defeating Bill Cipher.
Relationships: Dipper Pines & Ford Pines
Comments: 4
Kudos: 38





	what's gonna be left of the world if you're not in it?

**Author's Note:**

> Was inspired to write some angst. ^^;; I may or may not continue this with another chapter.

He couldn’t remember how many nights he’d spent crying himself to sleep, hugging one of his sisters stuffed animals close to his chest while brokenly questioning —

_Why?_

He didn’t feel right. His world didn’t feel right. Everything felt so wrong, now.

Every soft beat of his heart reminded him that he was agonizingly still alive. Every so often he’d attempt pinching himself to see if he’d been sucked into horrendous dream – but to no avail.

So, he just continued to let the tears flow down his flushed cheeks. He burrowed deeper into the stuffed animal he held close to him, pulling his sisters blanket over him for some sense of comfort.

He couldn’t bring himself to enjoy life anymore. Everything he did would just remind him of the person he was desperately missing. And the reminder would only plunge him farther down into a deep, dark abyss of numbness. 

Maybe he should just let the darkness consume him. If it could take him away from the reality that Mabel was gone forever, it’d be doing him a favor.

A muffled sniffle echoed through the room.

He was supposed to be heading back home soon. Summer was on the cusp of ending and he had no desire to go back to California – knowing he’d have to take on the unknown alone. And only mere days earlier, he’d been over the moon about staying in Gravity Falls and not going back. Only mere days earlier he was optimistic to leave his old life behind and leave California behind. Was going to end up leaving his sister behind, but life had other plans and, in the end, resulted in his sister leaving him.

_Permanently._

It was ironic, but it only felt like a sick punch to the stomach. Heaps of regret simmered and grew the longer reality sunk in. He constantly felt sick to his stomach. Felt uncomfortable and disoriented.

_What was the point in living, if he didn’t have his sister by his side?_

The brutal memory replayed in his mind constantly like a broken record. Taunting him. Driving him mad. And it brought up a new detail every time — the soft gasp of terror as she clung to his body in fear, the horrific loss of air sucked from her frail lungs, the loss of life from her eyes, the thump of her lifeless body when they plummeted to the ground from the grimy hands of Bill Cipher, the lack of pulse and the paling of her skin. Every reminder shook him to his core – and he witnessed it all happen firsthand.

And he did nothing to stop it.

She was really gone, wasn’t she? 

He had to be in some sick, twisted nightmare that he just could never wake up from. He wanted to wake up.

_He wanted it to stop._

What he wouldn’t give to hear the contagious, uplifting laughter again. The sporadic expressions and gestures of happiness and love that she always had enough to share with those around her. She tried so desperately to make everyone happy, regardless of how she felt. She just wanted to be accepted and be loved herself. She had so much love to give, yet her light burnt out too fast. And in a way it burnt out a part of his own.

Specific words began to spiral and cloud his mind —

_'Only the good die young.'_

It was a saying that Dipper always thought was ridiculous, being as young as he was. He felt as if he were on top of the world and nothing could ever go wrong, especially with his twin by his side. As long as he had his sister — his other half.

But life had other plans, violently stripping away a part of him like a hurricane stripping away people’s livelihoods and tearing families apart.

He sunk deeper into one of his sister's sweaters, sighing deeply. He ran his hands across the article of clothing — noticing every intricate and flawless stitch, only freezing when he picked up on the area that felt incomplete.

_Clench. Unclench._

_Inhale. Exhale._

The reminder that the sweater he currently wore was to be a present gifted to him on their birthday just made him want to wallow in a puddle of his own tears. It only made him feel even more guilty over the decisions he’d made and considered since their lives took a drastic turn only mere weeks before. 

Another shaky sob escaped him.

All he could do was pathetically cry and rock themself back and forth like some wounded animal left for dead — but who could blame him? 

He felt as if he were wounded – his sister being ripped away from him too soon. A part of his heart was missing, and he had no idea if anything would ever fill the gaping hole.

With a shuddering breath and hoarse hiccup, Dipper eventually succumbed to the exhaustion.

_Again._

* * *

The following day Dipper dragged himself down to the kitchen, eager to keep his mind occupied. He rubbed his arms and fidgeted anxiously, desperately trying to distract himself from the lingering negative emotions. 

He didn’t want to be alone – the loneliness would only remind him of what’s lost. Of what’s permanently missing from their broken family.

He hoped he could accompany the only person in the house that still remembered him. 

Meanwhile Ford paced around in the kitchen near the telephone line. He hovered over the phone, trembling hands hesitating to pick the device off its receiver. Feeling a sudden pair of eyes on him he quickly glanced back to find his grandnephew watching him blankly.

Ford kneaded the back of his neck awkwardly. After Weirdmageddon came to a close, he really had no way of knowing how to approach or socialize with his nibling – the family dynamic had drastically shifted since the unfortunate happened.

He habitually pulled at his turtleneck and shifted in place, unsure of how to spark a conversation. He felt as if he were meeting the kids for the first time again. It was a bizarre feeling.

“I...I guess we have to contact your parents and let them know about the situation.” He said, more to himself than Dipper specifically.

Ford pushed down the lump in his throat, trying to control his growing feelings of anxiety and dread. So many thoughts and feelings that ran wild and rampant — fighting for dominance like some feral, wild animals.

His hands felt sweaty. His heart began to race the more he contemplated. He never thought he’d ever be making this kind of call. Let alone to relatives that he’d never even had the opportunity to meet. 

Even though the kids’ parents only knew Stan as himself, would he be able to live up to the behaviors that his brother may have performed around them? Would he live up to the expectations? He had no idea how involved Stan was in the family during his absence in the portal — _how was he supposed to do this?_

He glanced back and noticed his grandnephew’s complexion — he looked completely and utterly exhausted. And Ford couldn’t blame him. Dipper’s blood-shot eyes complimented by some dark bags under them told him enough that he was utterly miserable. Both inside and out. Probably not sleeping, eating, or doing much of anything since the apocalypse ended.

He sighed.

The pressure of being the glue keeping this family together mortified him. There was only _so much_ he could handle, and with each passing day it’s been eating and nagging at him. _Slowly_. The combination of Stanley’s memory being wiped, Mabel’s passing and Dipper’s mental and physical state — it was growing immensely difficult to carry it all on his frail shoulders.

He didn’t know how to handle the fact that his grandniece was gone with everything else going on. He couldn’t really process what had happened, as so much had changed so dramatically fast. The steep drop in Dipper’s mental health scared him. The mental state of his brother scared him.

So many emotions raced through his mind: regret, remorse, and heartbreak. His family was broken, and he felt responsible for it all. Felt like the initial cause of the literal hell they were all enduring currently.

_They defeated Bill, but at what cost?_

If only he hadn’t made the decision of summoning Bill so many decades ago, things would’ve turned out different. Perhaps he could’ve been able to experience everything he’d missed out on during his absence. Been able to witness what could’ve happened — watching the kids growing up together. 

He could only wonder –

_Why? Why was his family doomed to endure so much heartbreak, deceit and trauma?_

The moment he heard whimpers he immediately rushed over to Dipper’s side. Even if he felt unsure over how to comfort the child, his heart brokenly ached to be a soothing presence. His heart sunk when he felt small arms wrap themselves around his torso.

He couldn’t help but immediately securely hold the vulnerable child in his arms.

“I don’t want to go back home, Grunkle Ford. Everything is just going to remind me of her — and how she’s not here with me.” Dipper croaked out, trembling hands struggling to anchor themselves on the back of his great uncle’s sweater.

It took all within him to not break down with his grandnephew.

“I know...and it’s perfectly understandable — “

“And will Grunkle Stan ever get any more of his memories back?”

A beat.

Ford was stumped. He wasn’t entirely sure, as the only lead they’ve gotten so far was a brief recollection of the pet pig that always trailed behind his...former grandniece. He never thought it was possible, but as soon as the pig would curl up on his twin’s lap and stubbornly keep coming back to the position — eventually it sparked something in Stan. 

He thought about pulling out old family movies to watch, but Ford hesitated over their current situation. Would it be wrong to just casually go through past memories of their childhood, while knowing that one of the sets of twins in the family was stripped of the opportunity of a memorable childhood with their own sibling? 

“I...I don’t know, Dipper.” Ford finally said brokenly. 

Another beat. 

Perhaps it’d be best to try and see if anything else could spark more memories in his brother. 

Another whimper and hiccup.

Or perhaps not.

Would it be appropriate to bring everything back to remind Stan that one of their own family members was gone forever? His brother would only end up blaming himself for what happened — he would most definitely feel responsible for his grandniece’s death. Feel responsible for not speaking up in time before the infamous finger snap of the wicked demon, sucking the life out of her right in front of their very eyes.

Raw emotion of heartbreak and sorrow flooded his mind and senses. Ford held back a sob of his own, watching the young boy quietly mourn in his arms. Again, it took everything in him not to completely break down. He kept telling himself he had to keep it all together.

But the wear and tear he’s endured for so many decades has been recently catching up with him, and the shock over the recent passing of Mabel was finally starting to sink in. 

He felt regret over being so stubborn and arrogant in his ways. He felt regret that he didn’t spend nearly enough time with one of the people that meant so much to him, just like his brother and grandnephew. He felt regret over every reckless decision he made that’s led up to this horrifying reality. 

As soon as the waterworks started, he knew there was no way of stopping it. He broke like a dam — tears streaming down his face with no signs of ceasing. All he could do to keep himself anchored was fully wrapping himself around the smaller body trembling like a leaf against him. 

No one dared to pull themselves away from the other, so they remained in each other’s arms and continued to mourn.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos and comments are always appreciated. <3


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